The Vitals:
the spot: Patty Palace 439 Industrial Blvd, Austin, TX 78745
the eats: Smashed Burgers
the bucks: $9-$11
the full nelson:  Simplicity and Perfection smashed between a potato bun

The name “Patty Palace” sounds like some kind of random burger chain you drive past on a road trip that, well, might not be very good. The logo isn’t exactly assuring either. It seems like a character from McDonald’s playland but . . . kinda twisted, like a fever dream hallucination of one of Ronald’s friends.

Folks these are the brilliant overtures of chef Dillon Misonznick who isn’t trying to BS his burger onto a crowded playing field. He is using humor as the only extra condiment on an Austin smashed burger concept that best understands the genre. It’s deceptively simple, very well executed and should be on your burger list of 2023.

Seriously look at the prices

It’s fair to say when it comes to dining out in Austin TX, prices are becoming comparable to NYC and LA. That makes the prices at Patty Palace all the more impressive. The best burger deal I’ve found in 2023 was at 7th Street Burger in NYC where a double cheeseburger cost me a mere $9.50. Patty Palace charged $11 but the burger was also its superior by a noticeable margin.

Burger breakdown

Two 3oz patties of 75/25 meat to fat ratio of Texas beef bring in some bang for your burger buck at these prices. Deli style Kosher dill pickles, extra Sharp American cheese, grilled onions, yellow mustard and a tangy burger sauce that Chef Dillon Misonznick call’s “Big Mac sauce worship” combine to create an instantly familiar and very repeatable burger flavor profile experience. This burger has an appeal that could rival the Dwayne The Rock Johnson.

A lot of R&D went into the final product.

Chef Dillon Misonznick tried 10 different pickles before landing on the Deli style Kosher dill. The grilled onions are pressed into the burger patty resulting in a mix of grilled and steamed onion bits. And perhaps most important was sizing up the patty to the pressure of the smash. “We ended up on a medium smash” Dillon tells me as I bite down on a juicy smashed burger patty that also has the coveted laced edge. That’s where the edges of a smashed burger patty caramelize and become a “beef candy” as Burger Scholar George Motz puts it.

Coming soon: a Frita Burger

Frita burgers are a staple in Miami where Cuban immigrants crafted their interpretation of the All American classic. Chorizo is mixed with a beef patty and is topped with julienned fried potatoes. I’ve had a few over the years, at an iconic Miami spot and on Cheap Eats. This might seem bold but I think the version at Patty Palace might be the best I have had. I’d certainly take anybody from the 305 to try it out and give me their honest take. This one will be available in the coming weeks.

And if you’re craving breakfast: stay tuned

Patty Palace offers a breakfast sandwich inspired by the East Coast staple of a Peppers and Eggs sandwich. This sandwich featured a double smash sausage patty, cheese folded egg as well as peppers and onions. Yes, I really pushed my statin on this visit. Like the Frita burger, this will be on the menu in the coming weeks.

So, like . . . go

Patty Palace is a gem. It’s cheap and stays true to spirit of what a smashed burger should be. Oh and it’s at a brewery. Yeah . . . this is the kind of spot that you realize is responsible for that extra 5-10 pounds you’re doctor brings up at the annual physical. Well Christmas is around the corner and maybe it’s time to add those jeggings to your Amazon wishlist.